it's gonna be alright
by spheeris1
Summary: AU :: One-shot :: Ashley POV :: Mature fluff is the best term I can come up with :: Walking backwards through a relationship.


**Life is running me around. I want to write on the long stories, but I cannot get my brain to focus. So I give you this.**

**oOoOo**

"Well, here we are! A day that none of us thought we'd **ever** see, am I right?"

A nice round of chuckling ripples through the crowd of people at this semi-rhetorical question. But all the smiling faces belay any possible ill-will that could be behind that laughter.

Everyone is surprised.  
But everyone is happy, too.

"When I first heard the news, that my sister had actually decided to settle down and get married... I was** shocked**! Because, as we all know, she has quite the reputation..."

There is nodding. There is more good-natured laughing. There are knowing looks. And none of those reactions are wrong. All that is being said is quite true.

Or it used to be.  
It once was reality, but not anymore.

"...But they say love comes to us all and it has certainly arrived today. Because today is the day I got to watch my sister walk down the aisle and today is the day I saw the extent of this devotion between Ashley and Spencer... and I must admit, I got a little teary-eyed..."

Others had the same experience, one can tell by the glassy sheen to their gazes now. They had a moment of 'what if?' or 'how wonderful!'. They saw their own futures or pasts.

They were witnesses to love being linked - forever - and that kind of thing tends to bring out all those delicate emotions.

"So, I want all of you to raise a glass and toast the passing of Ashley Davies! Then take another sip to welcome Ashley Davies-Carlin to the world!"

Kyla commands and so the others follow, glasses filled with champagne and held aloft.  
Ashley feels a hand within her own.  
She grabs that hand more firmly and it is not out of fear anymore.

Ashley holds Spencer's hand because she can and because she wants to hold this hand for the rest of her life.

**oOoOo**

It's not like she planned it.  
She never planned on it, to be honest.

But loving Spencer has come with unexpected side-effects, some great and some harder to understand, harder to accept.

She didn't plan this, though. They were walking along the boulevard and they both had sunglasses on and Spencer was tossing fifty cents into one of those newspaper things.  
And it was just there - this indescribable urge.

Maybe it was there for a while, but Ashley had kept her ears shut and her eyes closed.  
Until now. Until then. Until this.

Spencer, flipping through the pages of the arts section even as she walked along, blonde hair being caught by the breeze coming off the ocean, the slap of her flip-flops against the soles of her feet... and Ashley reaches out.

She reached out. She's always wanted to reach out to someone. She reaches out to Spencer.

"Hey..."  
"Hmm?" Spencer looks up from the paper briefly then glances back down at the printed lines.  
"Will you marry me?"

Spencer looks up and then looks at Ashley's hand on her arm and then drops the newspaper to the ground without another thought.

It's not like she planned it.  
She never planned on it, to be honest.

But here she is, asking for something wonderful and terrifying, and Spencer could say no.  
Spencer could say a million different things that mean 'no way, never, no how'.

For a lady without a plan, though, Ashley is pretty sure Spencer will say 'yes'.

**oOoOo**

She had to fight and fuck up, every once in a while. She had to implode and take down good people with her.

There is a saying about leopards and spots and Ashley tries to recall the exact wording as she continues to drink at this bar.  
She'll drink until she cannot walk. Girls will hit on her and she'll want to have sex with them. She'll want to forget that she is in love. She'll want to forget a lot of unforgettable things.

There is a saying about leopards. And spots. And Ashley presses her lips to some other girl's mouth and it feels so damn wrong. So wrong. So very wrong in every way.  
She's been ruined by Spencer. Spencer has broken her. Spencer has changed her and Ashley isn't sure what to do with this new person.

Love her? Ignore her? Hold her? Shun her?

There is a saying...  
...about leopards... and spots...

Ashley leaves and goes home and she knows pretty quickly, even with her less-than-sober eyes, that Spencer is gone.

Maybe not for good. But for now. And now is all that there is.

She had to fight and fuck up. She had to implode. She had to ruin Spencer, too.

But Ashley showers away the drunkenness and tries to scrub her skin raw, tries to erase those spots that just won't fade with time and with effort and with love.

**oOoOo**

"You know what I think?"  
"What?"  
"I think that the next time I fly back to Ohio, you should tag along."  
"...Yea?"  
"Sure. I feel like everyone already knows you anyway."

Ashley isn't sure why she is smiling, but she is. And Spencer loops their arms together as they sit on the couch, television on but sound is low.

"Okay. I mean... if you are sure...?"  
"Sure, I'm sure."  
"Okay."

They grin at each other and Ashley leans in and Spencer meets her along the way.  
They kiss in such a slow manner, taking the time to taste and caress and inhale.  
Ashley's fingertips stay poised on Spencer's jaw and do not move further, whereas Spencer's hands clench repeatedly along Ashley's bare thighs.

They kiss until Ashley's heart is beating so loudly that it is drowning out everything else in the world and it makes her feel like she might pass out.

"Stay the night?"  
"You know I wish I could-"  
"You can, you **so** can. I'll wake you up on time, I promise."  
"We both know that is a promise you won't be able to keep."

Spencer laughs and Ashley frowns, watching as the blonde extracts herself from Ashley's lips and Ashley's arms and Ashley's couch. Spencer gathers her things and turns to blow a kiss from the door.

"You know what I think?" Ashley questions.  
"What?"  
"I think you should move in with me."

**oOoOo**

Five days.

And, normally, that wouldn't matter much. Not to Ashley Davies.  
She has gone whole lifetimes without calling a girl back. Date or no date. Hook up or no hook up. She doesn't call you. You can call her.

Chances are, Ashley won't answer.

Five days, though, five days and Ashley hasn't called and Spencer hasn't called.

And, normally, it wouldn't matter much. They said 'dating'. They said it casually on purpose. They set up adult standards. Neither of them were looking for fireworks.  
It was just a couple of dates. It was just a couple of kisses. It was just one night.

But that was five days ago.

And, normally, this wouldn't matter much.  
Yet... and yet...

Ashley falls back onto some woman's bed, sweaty and unhappily distracted from the panting red-head that she just had her way with.  
It should have felt better. It should have felt just like it did five days ago.

The red-head falls asleep quickly and Ashley just lays there, staring at the ceiling and thinking about another girl, a blonde girl, a girl named Spencer.

Five damn days.

Five damn days since they touched and since they crashed through Ashley's front door and since they couldn't wait for more 'getting to know you' moments and since they fell upon the floor and since Ashley had the most intense sex in her entire existence.

And, suddenly, it matters too much.  
It matters in a way that Ashley is not prepared for and doesn't know how to handle.

Spencer matters. She wants to call Spencer. She wants Spencer to call her even more.

Ashley fears that a sixth day will break her and that's a thought worth being afraid of.

**oOoOo**

"So... you play music?"  
"Yea, just with a little local band. My actual paying job is **much** less interesting."  
"And that would be?"  
"Uh... a tale for another date?"  
"Oh, so there's going to be another one? You must really think I am sexy and amazing."

Ashley smiles and shakes her head and, inwardly, she kind of agrees. She didn't think her buddy, Travis, would actually set up a successful match.  
Not for a girl like Ashley, who can be really picky - when sober, that is. And Travis isn't known for seeing beyond large breasts, so this could have been a disaster.

So far, though, it is the opposite of disaster.

"How do you know Travis?"  
"He's good friends with one of my brothers. Same college."  
"I thought he was lying about college. I owe Travis an apology then."

Spencer laughs and Ashley joins in and they don't seem to notice the food being placed on their table. Spencer keeps grinning, but looks down at her plate almost shyly. And Ashley takes a sip of her beer, but her eyes stay on the blonde sitting across from her.

"Plus, you know, I owe him for tonight as well." Ashley concedes.  
Spencer looks up again, a glint in those blue eyes that is familiar and - at the same time -breathtakingly new.  
It's kind of funny because neither of them need to fully explain what is being said.  
They know what is going on, even if they don't say it, not just yet.

"Yea, me too." Spencer replies.

And so they eat. And they talk some more. They kid around some as well. It's a good date. It's better than Ashley anticipated. It's more substantial than what she has been doing, sleeping around and disappearing and playing a game made for two but it is always Ashley left standing - alone.

It's just one date, though.  
It's not the start of something, it just is... right?

Love is rare and companionship is hard to find and interest is easily piqued, but not easily kept... right?

This is just a good date, that's all.  
Spencer's eyes say it and Ashley knows those cautions are in her own gaze and they would be wise to heed them. They would be mature to not get caught up and act like teenagers about all of this.

A kiss on the cheek and Spencer is walking to her car and Ashley stands there a second longer than needed. Her hand waves at the blonde as wheels roll away and into the night.

But Ashley stands for a second longer than warranted.

There is heat in her gut and a strange flushed sensation along her body and this is just a date with a girl and nothing will probably come of it.

Right?

**oOoOo**

**/END/**


End file.
